The 5 Crucial Food Groups According To Dogs

1. In the bowl. (A good foundation, but important to supplement with other groups.)
2. Off the table. (Most varied group, but best eaten when no one is looking.)
3. On the floor. (A nutritious way to snack between meals.)
4. Grass - taken at least once a day to enable vomit activity. (Vomit activity best engaged in while resting head on caretaker's lap.)
5. Poop. (At least once a day for overall digestive happiness. May be taken topically via rolling in it.) Best if eaten immediately after production. Be sure to lick owner in face after ingestion.